Open Prompt (12/15)

2005. In Kate Chopin’s The Awakening (1899), protagonist Edna Pontellier is said to possess “That outward existence which conforms, the inward life that questions.” In a novel or play that you have studied, identify a character who outwardly conforms while questioning inwardly. Then write an essay in which you analyze how this tension between outward conformity and inward questioning contributes to the meaning of the work. Avoid mere plot summary.

Essay A:

With the prompt answered clearly in the introduction and thesis, the essay continues with accurate and well explained analysis. One area explains, “the intense and painful struggle which Dimmesdale has encountered conveys the message that humanity’s ultimately flames nature causes its members strife, but our undeniable desires and humanity can be discovered”. This sentence takes a piece of the text (evidence) and then explains it. The sentence is representative of the whole essay in terms of analysis and sentence structure. The essay discusses the text in the present and displays an understanding of grammar. At times the arguments are less organized, but still prevalent and well explained. Overall, the scoring given by the essay graders, an 8, seems to be right for this essay. The understanding of the novel and how it relates to the prompt is complete, but some more could be put into organization.

Essay B:

The essay manages to address the prompt, with a less sophisticated argument. With a large amount of evidence, the argument that “internally, Nora wants more independence” is backed up and well explained, though there could be further analysis. At times, the sentence structure and diction is clumsy, making the overall piece less convincing. The clumsiness is shown when the author writes, “Ibsen’s purpose was to show candidly the position of women of his era”. The sentence not only could have been worded better, but  the  argument strays  from  the prompt and loses the focus of the essay. More time could have been spent analysing the argument instead of arguing for a whole new point that does not largely add to the whole essay or add to answering the prompt. Still, the essay displays a level of understanding  that  addresses some complexities within the piece allowing for a score of 6. With a more complex analysis of the work, the essay could get a higher  score.

Essay C:

This essay is only summary. Though the thesis addresses the prompt, the body of the essay fails to analyse the text further than offering it as evidence for an argument with no explanation. To start the essay, the writer rewrites the quote given in the prompt, which which wastes time and space that could be devoted to more analysis and explanation. Rewriting information from the prompt does not serve the overall argument, but instead distracts from it. Beyond the summary aspect of the essay, the writer discusses the piece of literature in the past tense writing, “now, Jane was free from the constraints of her former husbands and could become independent”. This distracts from any argument the writer has and displays a lack of understanding of writing about literature. Overall, the essay does not address  the complexities of the piece of literature and fails to form an argument that addresses the prompt. So the score given by the AP graders of a 4 is, if anything, too giving.